How the fuck have I got here

It was while flipping eggs for my kids breakfast, I disassociated, retreating to my addiction of shooting up on low self-worth, thinking; How the fuck did I get here, my lecturers were right, I will never make it as a Mother artist in the Art World. I was feeling particularly optimistic that day.

It was rising up in me again, the frustration of knowing I have something within me so valuable to share, but feeling totally lost at how to do it.

I decided to cause myself more pain; do art with the kids and google;

‘Most expensive art in the world’

What confronted me, confronted me.

Salvator Mundi is the most expensive artwork in the world, selling at auction for a vagina tingling 450 million dollars.

Jimson Weed by Georgia O’Keeffe sold for a mere 44.4 million dollars.

Not one woman, let alone a Mother artist makes the top 20 most highly priced art works in the world.

I stewed on this for a few days. Until 16th May. Which I can only describe as one of the most extraordinary moments of my life. My bleed arrived. The kids were bickering. I was tired. Alone. Lost. I lay on the bed. Observing all I was beasting myself with. Until time and space compounded. Who am I not to be a great Mother Artist? In that moment everything flipped.

Take a selfie. Like that of Salvator Mundi and price yourself as the most highly priced Mother Artist in the world.

I felt sick. I felt excited. What do I do?

'Put your blood in a glass, pull the V sign, put on the 1950's Step Ford wives dress made with the fabric stained in your blood and put lipstick on.'

This artwork came from a space beyond. There was no thought. I just came to be.

Watch my Made in Womb documentary here

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